I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I’ve lost count of how many disciplines of science this conversation about Harry Potter has gone through.
Randomize
