when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
See, remember when you wanted to get an Ashley Madison account and I told you not to and you hated me? You. Are. Welcome.
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
