R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
My morning started with my mom giving me the number for a substance abuse councellor. How's your day going?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
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