4 words: hood of his car
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just woke up to find the whole kitchen sick had been converted into a gravity bong.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
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