I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Randomize
