I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize
