i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
