i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
