Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Randomize
