Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
