my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
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