bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
