We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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