It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
she called for a booty call so i sent mike as my stunt double
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
My bathing suit kept falling whenever I went under a wave and this kid caught on and kept checking them out so I told him nothing comes free $5 a boob
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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