The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize