Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
I think I just wanna go buy some jack at the liquor store, come home, take my pants off, and not give a shit about stuff
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
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