College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Randomize
