i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Randomize