girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
