Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
