i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
