When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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