There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
How do I know I'm high? Let me count the ways.
1. I put the milk in the cupboard, 2. Everything tastes fucking amazing, 3. My dog is really soft, 4. The lunesta butterfly flew out of my tv and touched me
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
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