belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
