Swine flu. Run for my life!
if only i could text you this smell
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
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