This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
Randomize
