She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Im part way to drunk.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
