I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
