Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
I am midnight drunk by noon
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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