a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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