did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize