just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
OMFG, I'm seriously about to get fairly unpolite with this guy.
Wow. I bet he's shakin' in his boots.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
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