You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
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