This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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