just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I would fuck him just for his dog
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Randomize
