I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
Randomize
