Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
So, I can officially cross "getting eaten out in a church confession booth" off my bucket list.
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