and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
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