dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
Randomize
