Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
