people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
