Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
