You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My roommate made me go home after I mooed at fat girls at the gas station.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Randomize
