If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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