So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
