You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
