I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I've had sex with three people who have this birthday.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
