Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
Randomize
