I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
Randomize
