just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
