I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I only want to screw him when I'm drunk. Problem is I try to be drunk as often as possible
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
High Amy loves you. Sober Amy is unsure, but she's not here so fuck that bitch.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
