I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Randomize
