lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
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