and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
