I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
Randomize
