I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
