I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
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