I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Did you just reference Ludacris during my possible pregnancy scare of 2012?!
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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