i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
