oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
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