It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize