Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I look better un-naked...
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Almost ran over girl selling candy bars for charity. Pretty much obligated to buy at that point.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
