I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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