remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
